Losing the “Mental Game”
06/15/23
In sports, we often perceive winning to be a black and white matter. You either win or you lose, right? Technically yes, in competition there is always a winner. That being said , I don’t think all wins are created or experienced equal by athletes.
I’ve come to realize in my work with athletes that you can win on the field, but lose the game in your mind. What I mean by that is even in the midst of a win, an athlete’s mindset can impact their ability to acknowledge, appreciate, or fully enjoy a win.
Losing the mental game often manifests in athletes who struggle with perfectionism. When wins get filtered through a perfectionist lens, it can dilute the victory. The narrative that I hear from athletes often starts with “Yes we won, but….” The “but” is what can lead to losing the mental game, and often sounds like negative self-talk, dichotomous thinking, and feelings of not being good enough.
Perfectionism mostly only speaks two languages: black and white. There is little room for interpretating or experiencing situations with nuance or complexity that fuels a perpetual cycle of never being enough. Further, it leads to irrational thinking that always distorts a win through the scarcity lens of “not enough.”
An athlete assessing their performance is an essential part of becoming an elite athlete. But HOW they go about that self-reflection process can result in either winning or losing the mental game, regardless of what the scoreboard says.
Here are some techniques that can help an athlete “Win the Mental Game”:
1. Work on breaking dichotomous thinking. After a competition whether an athlete wins or loses, encourage the athlete to spend time identifying what went well. The goal is to help athletes assess their experiences through a wider lens when interpretating whether something was either positive or negative or good or bad. Every time an athlete can exercise that muscle in their mind, it helps foster balance, resilience, and confidence.
2. Learn to fully embrace a win. Athletes are highly driven, and because of that the tendency can be to immediately mentally move on thinking about the next game, without pausing and enjoying the win in the now. When they don’t fully embrace the wins, they miss tapping into a vital energy source that can sustain and motivate them for future competitions. Fully acknowledging a win also provides perspective that helps an athlete manage a loss or poor performance.
3. Use imagery. Ask the athlete to come up with an image that represents what “winning the mental game” feels and looks like. This could be a safe, happy, or accomplished space or image that an athlete can visualize before competition to ground them, and post competition to manage difficult emotions that come with a loss. Imagery also offers a sense of internal control, that can help an athlete manage anxious thoughts related to what’s out of their control.