“Don’t Quit.”
11/17/22
“Don’t Quit” is a phrase most athletes have heard since the inception of starting their sport, and one that is reiterated covertly and overtly throughout most athletes’ careers. Quitting in general tends to hold a significant amount of shame in our society, but seems to hold even more stigma in the sports world. This leads many athletes to avoid “quitting” like the plague out of fear of potential shame and backlash that could ensue.
Quitting is the antithesis to how athletes have been programmed to operate in the world. Athletes are conditioned to be hardworking, resilient, tough, persistent, and committed to a fault creating a strong aversion to words like quitting.
Quitting is perceived as a major threat to many athletes because it’s not only potentially losing a significant part of their identity, but would call into question their character, significance, and value they hold as an athlete and person.
Quitting can be perceived as a direct violation of this unwritten contract you sign when you become an athlete of the rules you are required to abide by and embody throughout your athletic journey.
The problem with this unwritten contract is there doesn’t appear to be any asterisks for exceptions that warrant either taking a break or quitting one’s sport all together if necessary. When we inundate our athletes with this “Don’t Quit” mantra it communicates that there are no circumstances where this rule can be broken, causing athletes to push far beyond their physical or emotional pain limits similar to a “Win at all costs” mentality.
This isn’t a blog about condoning quitting, but merely pointing to the danger of what happens when we polarize the term “Quitting” as this extremely negative and shameful action. When we do this it makes athletes more susceptible to physical and emotional injury and leads to them internalizing that they are a failure.
I have found in my work with athletes that the stigma and shame around quitting is so deep that it often causes them to not even allow themselves to consider it as an option. This ends up fueling feelings of helplessness, fear, and anxiety. Most of the time I’ve learned that even introducing quitting as an option to an athlete provides a sense of relief, knowing they have the autonomy to do so if they ever were to reach a breaking point.
But first I try to create safety and acceptance around the fact that whether they quit or take a break from sports their inherent value and significance does not diminish. My goal is to help athletes externalize that even if they quit their sport that doesn’t mean they are a quitter in life.
While athletes certainly don’t need my “permission” to consider quitting, oftentimes unless someone who is a supportive figure in their life allows space for that discussion most athletes won’t even consider it due to the stigma attached to it. It’s like I’m providing athletes permission to consider a choice that was always available to them from the beginning but they didn’t realize it.
The reality is the majority of athletes I work with end up sticking with their sport; however, it’s critical to empower athletes to recognize they matter and can make choices to prioritize their well-being. It’s our job to encourage athletes that whatever their choice is doesn’t make them any more or less of an athlete or person.